My 10 Worst films of 2014

 

   2014 was an overall pretty good year for films. I didn't hate most of the movies on this list despite them being considerably weak compared to the rest of the year's releases.

10. Rio 2

   The weakest animated feature 2014 had to offer was Rio 2, a dull movie that fails to entertain.

9. 3 Days To Kill

   I suppose a joke about this movie not being a good way to kill time would be appropriate. McG's film about a dying spy feels like it is trying to capture the same magic as Taken. It succeeds if Taken was a really bland film that puts the viewer to sleep.

8. The Purge: Anarchy

   A great premise executd the wrong way. Makes for a decent Punisher story though.

7. Grudge Match

  What happens if you pit Raging Bull versus Rocky? A terrible comedy apparently. 

6. A Million Ways To Die In The West 

   Ingredients for making a bad western comedy: 

-include a stale lead performance

-make every joke a sex joke

-insert pointless love triangle. 

5. Ride Along

   Is anyone else tired of Kevin Hart yet? How long until we, as a society, stop laughing at his short jokes or angry Ice Cube?

4. Transcendence

   Sure, 5 was a bad comedy but at least it didn't bore me to tears as this movie did. This movie truly disappointed me.

3. Jersey Boys

   It's almost an achievement considering just how boring this movie is. On top of that it refused to end at an acceptable time. This movie just kept going and going at a slow pace and fails to make you care about any of the boys.

2. A Haunted House 2

   This is a movie that treats the audience as though they have the IQ of a candy necklace. Stupid jokes after stupid jokes somehow lead to a doll having a grudge against Marlon Wayans after he dumps it.

The absolute worst movie of 2014 is...

1 Transformers 4: Age of Extinction

   I hated this. I hated this so much. How can a film with giant robots fail to be entertaining?  I'll tell you.  This near 3 hour mess is filled with the same crap as the other 3 only with less plot and more over the top product placement.  Mark Wahlberg stopped in the middle of the movie and pulled out a Bud Light and drank it while practically winking at the camera. It gets better. Then the movie stops and showcases a "Romeo & Juliet" law that essentially says being a pedophile is okay. Then we get bombarded with incoherent cgi action, explosions, meaningless location changes, and gratuitous shots of women. It's the Michael Bay template of filmmaking, except I can't call this a film. I can't even call this a movie. This is an abomination.